"The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. Of course, that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world. All the major problems confronting the world, whether you look at the matter from the standpoint of nations and statesmen or from the standpoint of industry and social conditions, or from any other standpoint -- all these troubles ultimately come back to self, to 'my rights', to 'what I want', and to 'who is he'? or 'who is she'?
"Self, with its horrid manifestations, always leads to trouble, because if two 'selfs' come into opposition there is bound to be a clash. Self always wants everything for it-self. That is true of my self, but it is equally true of your self. You at once have two autonomous powers, each deriving from self, and a clash is inevitable. Such clashes occur at every level, from two people right up to great communities and empires and nations.
"'Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God'. [Eph. 5:21] That is the basic principle, and it is to be true of all members of the Christian church. Whether married or unmarried, we are all to be submitting ourselves one to the other in the fear of God."
~ Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit (Baker Books, 1973) pp 211-12.