Tuesday, September 13, 2011

pN on husbands and wives

Good friend and fellow pastor, Neil, on Proverbs 12:4....

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."  (Proverbs 12:4)   

Hey—I didn’t write it.  But it  is a truism that I think bears out under observation.   Despite our topsy-turvy, top on bottom and bottom on top culture, there is a natural order to how families are supposed to work.  Husbands are supposed to be husbands and wives are supposed to be wives.  Husbands are not supposed to be wives and wives are not supposed to be husbands.  Specific job descriptions are in part, up for discussion perhaps, but the basic roles and foundational definition that there IS a thing called “husband,” the idea of which God created, and there IS a thing called “wife,” the idea also which God created, stands.  And if a woman works at being an excellent wife, she is the best thing in her husband’s life, even eclipsing having an excellent kid and certainly eclipsing having an excellent job, truck, neighborhood, etc.  An excellent wife, as it were, is at the top of his life, and shines with glory OF him.  She isn’t him.  She is herself, uniquely “her” and beautifully individual.  But she shines around him.  No, she isn’t dominated by him and no she isn’t overwhelmed by him and no she isn’t manipulated by him—if he does that his buddies “in the gate” need to kick his t*il and insist that he treat his wife like a crown, that he cherish her, that she hold the place that a valued crown should hold.  But all of that said, she is still a complement to him.  Conversely, because a husband and a wife are so bonded, if she who shames him, she who does things that humiliate him this woman rots him from the inside out.  He cannot escape it, he cannot really distract himself from it, it is a “cancer,” an “osteosarcoma” to him.  That is bad.  That is no minor condition.  That is rottenness in his bones.  This proverbs writer must have observed this contrast three thousand years ago.  It is not different today.  Husbands need to cherish their wives.  Wives need to bless their husbands.  That’s just the way it is.  

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