Husbands and wives

Some years back my wife and I each wrote out what submission and headship (Ephesians 5) meant to us as a couple. She wrote the first part, and I did the second.

For wives, what respectful submission means

1. Submission to my husband begins with prayer and submission to the Lord, with an ongoing trust in his plan for my life and his plan for marriage. This trusting relationship with God is the foundation of submission.

2. Submission to a godly husband does not diminish a wife’s significance, importance or personhood. Since it is God’s order, it can only be strengthening and liberating to her. It will bring true joy to her and glory to God.

3. Submissiveness recognizes, values and affirms the tremendous responsibility that God has given the husband in the leadership of the family. Do you fear for him and pray for him, knowing he is one who must give an account before the Lord for the way he led the family?

4. Submissiveness involves prayerful, respectful communication, with much compassion and forgiveness included, since both of us have fallen short of the glory of God.

5. Submission to headship is never absolute, except to the Lord. Wives should never follow their husbands into sin.

6. Women were made to be complementary to their husbands. God has given us unique abilities to help strengthen them. Marriage is not two people in unison but two people in harmony, which makes a song fuller and more beautiful. Oneness is the goal of marriage – united to serve each other, the Lord, the family, and the church.

For husbands, what loving leadership (“headship”) means

1. I must lead. God has called me to be a leader. I must provide for and protect my family. I should be the first in my family to do the will of God. I should initiate prayer, teach the Word, and nourish my family in the Lord. I am to lead sacrificially, like my Lord.

2. I myself must be in submission to authority. I must lead by my own example of submission to God, government, church, employers, and others deserving my respect. “I too am a man under authority.” (Mt. 8:9) I am to lead with servant leadership, like my Lord.

3. I must lead in areas I’d rather avoid. I may delegate some tasks, but I can’t abdicate responsibility. I must not avoid making decisions in areas uncomfortable for me, such as child-rearing, finances, or other family decisions.

4. I cannot be independent. Headship involves an inter-relationship with the body. I am united to my family. I must care for my wife and family as I do for myself.

5. I must know my wife. If I am to lead well, I must truly understand her. I must learn how to listen and how to communicate with her. I must deal in gentleness (1 Pet. 3:7). I must encourage her strengths and help her weaknesses, as she does mine.

6. I must honor my wife. In God’s kingdom she is my equal partner (Gal. 3:28) and in many areas she is my superior. I must honor her as a fellow-heir of eternal life (1 Pet 3:7). She will be held up with honor in our home, and I should always speak respectfully of her and to her.

bible reading nov 1-2

Bible reading for weekend Nov 1 -- 2 Nov 1 -- Hosea 7 and Psalms 120-122 Nov 2 -- Hosea 8 and Psalms 123-125 ================ "Were I to write for him my laws by the ten thousands, they would be regarded as a strange thing." (Hosea 8:12) THE RESULTS OF SIN (ch 7-8). Notice the words and metaphors to describe Israel's sinful condition: they are surrounded with, and proud of, their evil (7:1-3); like adulterers in the heat of passion (7:4-5); their anger is like a hot oven (7:6-7); they are like a half-cooked (one side only) cake (7:8); their strength is gone (7:9); they are like silly doves easily trapped (7:11-12); they are undependable like a warped bow (7:16). In spite of all of this they are so proud of themselves! (We might say they have a strong self-esteem.) They have spurned what is good (8:3); they sow to the wind and have no real fruit (8:7); they are a useless vessel (8:8) and a wild donkey wandering alone (8:9); they regard God's law as a strange thing

bible reading dec 3-5

Bible reading for weekend December 3 -- 5 Dec 3 -- Nahum 1 and Luke 17 Dec 4 -- Nahum 2 and Luke 18 Dec 5 -- Nahum 3 and Luke 19 ================ "The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. But with an overflowing flood he will make a complete end of the adversaries, and will pursue his enemies into darkness." (Nahum 1:7-8) TIME'S UP FOR NINEVEH (Nah 1-3). The prophecy of Nahum is God's word to the people of Nineveh, part two. Jonah was part one, chronicling a city-wide repentance of Assyrians in the capital about a hundred years earlier. The closing bookend is Nahum, and the Assyrian empire is big, powerful, and aggressive. Notice the references to chariots (2:3-4, 13; 3:2). The Assyrians were a militarily advanced culture, and cruel in their warfare. Whatever spiritual receptivity they had at the time of Jonah was gone by the time of Nahum. Nahum may not have actually visited Nineveh, for it seems the book was w

bible reading dec 13-14

Bible reading for December 13 -- 14 Dec 13 -- Haggai 2 and John 3 Dec 14 -- Zechariah 1 and John 4 ================ "Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD. Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts..." (Haggai 2:4) THE LATTER GLORY (Haggai 2). The Jews, having returned from Babylonian exile, must get to work and finish rebuilding the temple. For this reason, the post-exilic period is called the "second temple" period. King Herod would later enlarge and add many embellishments to the site. But the beginnings in Haggai are so modest compared to the temple originally built by Solomon, and the people were discouraged. The Lord asks, "Is it not as nothing in your eyes?" (v 3) He tells them that they are to be strong and to keep working, for he is with them, no matter how humble the project may seem. This principle applies to us, as well (Matt 28:20; Eph 6:10). We should not become disheartened at the smallness of the return on our

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